Reclaiming Conversation Part 2
As the reader continues into "Reclaiming Conversation," Turkle creates a metaphor where she compares humans of the 21st century becoming more and more entrenched in their phones with Thoreau's three chairs. Thoreau says, “I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.” Turkle continues with this metaphor through the duration of the book until the end where she gives ways that we can reclaim conversation.
With the first chair, solitude, Turkle describes the need for taking time for yourself and doing self-reflection. The issue is, this self-reflection does not occur when we are constantly glued to our devices. As the dopamine kicks in and we get the urge to check and see who is making our phone vibrate, we interrupt our time needed to give ourselves times to think. Turkle describes solitude as being so vital because it "develops empathy and identity." She then furthers her case of empathy with a middle school in upstate New York. At this school, teachers and administrators are fearful that students are lacking empathy due to their obsession with cell phones and lack of conversation. She mentions how "people say things behind a screen that they would not say in real life." According to cyber bullying statistics from the i-Safe foundation that over half of adolescents and teens have experienced some sort of cyber bullying, she seems to be on to something. When people cannot see the emotion on someone else's face it is easier to say things that one ordinarily would not say.
The second chair describes friendship. Turkle focuses on family, friends, and romance. Turkle mentions several times in her family chapter about how children want their parents attention, but parents are glued to their cell phones. Turkle also mentions how some families are resulting to having more of the serious, sticky issue type conversations through some sort of online chat or text platform. She has good things to say about this approach because people can edit and change what they say. Unlike in person when what is said, is said. The big take home message from this chapter is that children are missing out on developing social skills needed from home as adults turn toward their devices at the dinner table and everywhere.
Turkle continued with the second chair talking about friends and romance. She says that friends are not conversing as much in modern times as they turn to their phones. She mentions how at parties when you are alone, you picks up your phone, unlike in past times when you like would have found someone to talk to. Regarding romance, Turkle mentions the games that we play -- seeing who can wait the longest without texting (new form of playing hard to get,) and how we can swipe away to find "true love." The only issue is, this unlimited choice can lead to decision paralysis and unhappiness.
The final chair deals with society. Turkle focuses this chair on education and the workplace. With all the distractions and multitasking going on with our app gen students, it is no wonder traditional education styles will not work for them. She mentions how children bring their devices to do school work, but while doing so, they are also chatting and have text message conversations going on. She also suggests that "unitasking" is more beneficial than multitasking. While multitasking creates the illusion you are doing more, you actually end up being less productive as you switch from app to app. With unitasking, you can actually accomplish a task. This is true and why so many modern-parents are requiring their children to put their screens away and focus on school work. She also mentions that "online conversation does not substitute for real conversation." Again, because with the online conversation, one does not feel empathy as they see body language and emotion from each other.
Finally, she talks about the workplace. Turkle mentions an attorney, Audrey Lister, who is marveled by young attorneys and their avoidance of conversations. Instead, young attorneys are glued to their devices juggling emails, texts, and social media. She mentions how some companies such as the Boston Consulting Group have begun scheduling "disconnect times" to encourage conversation and getting away from electronics.
There is hope, though. Turkle feels that in order to reclaim conversation we must put our phones out of sight and talk to our families, children, colleagues, friends, strangers. This requires a shift in thinking as our new normal has become turning to the phone, but if we want to learn to communicate face-to-face again, this is what she feels is necessary.
With the first chair, solitude, Turkle describes the need for taking time for yourself and doing self-reflection. The issue is, this self-reflection does not occur when we are constantly glued to our devices. As the dopamine kicks in and we get the urge to check and see who is making our phone vibrate, we interrupt our time needed to give ourselves times to think. Turkle describes solitude as being so vital because it "develops empathy and identity." She then furthers her case of empathy with a middle school in upstate New York. At this school, teachers and administrators are fearful that students are lacking empathy due to their obsession with cell phones and lack of conversation. She mentions how "people say things behind a screen that they would not say in real life." According to cyber bullying statistics from the i-Safe foundation that over half of adolescents and teens have experienced some sort of cyber bullying, she seems to be on to something. When people cannot see the emotion on someone else's face it is easier to say things that one ordinarily would not say.
The second chair describes friendship. Turkle focuses on family, friends, and romance. Turkle mentions several times in her family chapter about how children want their parents attention, but parents are glued to their cell phones. Turkle also mentions how some families are resulting to having more of the serious, sticky issue type conversations through some sort of online chat or text platform. She has good things to say about this approach because people can edit and change what they say. Unlike in person when what is said, is said. The big take home message from this chapter is that children are missing out on developing social skills needed from home as adults turn toward their devices at the dinner table and everywhere.
Turkle continued with the second chair talking about friends and romance. She says that friends are not conversing as much in modern times as they turn to their phones. She mentions how at parties when you are alone, you picks up your phone, unlike in past times when you like would have found someone to talk to. Regarding romance, Turkle mentions the games that we play -- seeing who can wait the longest without texting (new form of playing hard to get,) and how we can swipe away to find "true love." The only issue is, this unlimited choice can lead to decision paralysis and unhappiness.
The final chair deals with society. Turkle focuses this chair on education and the workplace. With all the distractions and multitasking going on with our app gen students, it is no wonder traditional education styles will not work for them. She mentions how children bring their devices to do school work, but while doing so, they are also chatting and have text message conversations going on. She also suggests that "unitasking" is more beneficial than multitasking. While multitasking creates the illusion you are doing more, you actually end up being less productive as you switch from app to app. With unitasking, you can actually accomplish a task. This is true and why so many modern-parents are requiring their children to put their screens away and focus on school work. She also mentions that "online conversation does not substitute for real conversation." Again, because with the online conversation, one does not feel empathy as they see body language and emotion from each other.
Finally, she talks about the workplace. Turkle mentions an attorney, Audrey Lister, who is marveled by young attorneys and their avoidance of conversations. Instead, young attorneys are glued to their devices juggling emails, texts, and social media. She mentions how some companies such as the Boston Consulting Group have begun scheduling "disconnect times" to encourage conversation and getting away from electronics.
There is hope, though. Turkle feels that in order to reclaim conversation we must put our phones out of sight and talk to our families, children, colleagues, friends, strangers. This requires a shift in thinking as our new normal has become turning to the phone, but if we want to learn to communicate face-to-face again, this is what she feels is necessary.
Sounds like a great read! This is one of my pet peeves, people always on their phones and not interacting with each other. I don't seem to have as much of an issue in my classroom because I am able to set parameters. The problem I have is when hanging out with my friends, family, colleagues. They are adults so there are no set boundaries except common sense. I like the idea of one person using the phone at a time while the rest of the group is engaged in face to face conversation.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this information. I totally agree that communication needs to be more face to face rather then texting. In my home setting during meal times phones are put away. It seems harder to do that when we are eating meals out. I do like the fact that more and more places are putting up No Phone Signs when you are in their establishment. In ES my students can bring their phones, but they need to be turned off and in their bags during the day. It is nice to hear them having conversations with each other. I hope more people realize that we need to go back to face to face conversations.
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